Well I might as well, as I do not get here nearly as often enough. I find that it is nice to have conversations with myself. I always have. I am the person you see talking to herself in the car, this is way before headsets LOL !! I talk to release tension, harp on myself, remind myself, Pray and put protection around myself before work. I talk to the dead and those I miss. I send love to everyone I can think of and every situation I can think of. 

I have always loved to drive, to me driving is freedom. I love putting a few snacks in the car and my giant cup ( lol ) and some music and spare clothes and yes Money is a good idea - cell phone and last but not least a few cameras. I love the freedom of back roads and farmland. I love all the photo opportunities that come along with driving aimlessly. I always know that Holy Spirit or a fun loving ancestor usually brings me to an interesting place where I can take come random pictures.

And yes, I talk the whole way. It is a good way to relieve stress and anxiety and to reset my brain. 

We all get so caught up in the now and the happenings of daily life. We are in a turbulent time and we have to find our methods of coping, we need new methods, some of the old ones are not working so well. I find myself doing more of these driving meditations each day, if the weather is interesting I take a few minutes early off to work to take pictures. There was some amazing fog a bit back and I ran out the door cameras in hand, and while I did not get the best pictures I have ever taken, they were interesting nonetheless because they had me creating on my way to work . It was a great start to my day :) 

One of my biggest frustrations with having to 'work for a living - or in my case - work for a mortgage ' is that I do not have the freedoms I used to have. There is never enough time in my day . I am no 'young chicken' as my mom would say LOLOL . I work hard where I work and I often come home exhausted. I also have an auto immune disease that makes me much more prone to exhaustion, if I sat back and really thought about it - I might stay in bed LOL but I get up and go !! And Go I must and I always have my 'stuff' with me for the ride.

And talk to myself I must because I have never been the type that needed anyone to talk to, As a child I used to sing and have conversations with myself all the time. For me, it is so much a part of who I am, talking to myself has always been something I need to do. There is a comfort to it and there is also the usefullness of it all for me. I take care of a lot of business when I drive, I pray, I talk to those who have passed that I miss and love, I sing, I write stories, I get alot accomplished during my drives to and from work and on my long jaunts.  And I am almost embarrassed to admit, I do not like to drive people to and from work - to me the time back and forth has become a moving meditation, it has become sacred to me, to have to drive someone is really such a pain in the ass thing LOL. Just being honest. I think - for most of us - it is !!

So with all that being written .. I am off to work and shall see what the day brings, perhaps a little side jaunt on the way home :) I hope so.. my heart is longing to explore and we shall see what happens ... 

love and hugs 

C

For many months now, hell Years now, I have had nothing to say.. Today after a visit with family and having time to think because of being on vacation. I have something to say .....

In the days of old, when I was fortunate enough to simply be a stay at home person who had a decent income and was still raising a teenager and then young adult, I used to blog, alot.

I was new to blogging but I quickly became fascinated that maybe there were three or four people who were out there in the cyber garden who actually felt maybe I had something to say. The journey to arrive at that place in time had been a long and arduous one fraught with counseling, divorce. illness, change of financial status, also learning to live in a much smaller home. Oh yes and being a single mom. raising a teenager who has serious health issues. On a happy note,  there were also the joys of finding love again and being blissfully happy, to settling in and learning how 'the other half' lived.

Along the way I learned many things about hands on healing, studied various modalities. I worked at part time jobs first at Daycare and then at a Chiropractors office.  I saw healing clients, I had spiritual friends over once a week for guided meditations. I went to a local healing center and felt I belonged. Those years were magical and wonderful and I miss them very much. Oh my, how the times have changed.

I am  older now and haved moved apart from those I once hung with all the time, not because we wanted to, but because the world has really changed since my golden years. I read all the books, I went to seminars, I was published in a  well known book in the 'Indigo' circles . I was within the Indigo movement and helped many people via online and telephone.

I had learned to re-train my mind to have healing and positive thoughts, I unlearned the things that I had been mistakenly taught by those around me at home and in school and in the work place. It took me several years to learn what was best for me to have in my life. It took years for me to set limits with others and take care of and put myself first.

I learned how to say NO. I enjoyed my life immensely because I had this new found knowledge and an entire bag of tools to help me live my life the way I saw fit. I had become a Reiki practioner, a Hypnotherapist. I studied to become an Ordained Minister and accomplished that. I became a practioner of LaHo Chi and dabbled in Magnified healing. I also sang alot !!

I had put the past behind me and I felt liberated and modern and ahead of the game. Such a wonderful and exilhirating experience !  I became that person that I always knew was inside and people actually listened to what I had to say. I helped many people around me who could not help themselves.

It was indeed a golden time. Much joy and happiness and camaradarie and amazing events. Then, in a nutshell .. the universe lowered the boom on me as it has done to so many of us.

I had a reversal of health and then of fortune also. I lived through my 'dark night of the soul'
period of my life and I lost many of my friends. I was alone and newly isolated, still I kept my new found head ! I again discovered where my talents were and developed them and had an artistic re-birth of sorts.

Then, the proverbial crap hit the fan, my finances drastically changed and I had to go back to work full time. It is not that I mind working, I am a very hard worker and through the years have learned how to be organized and productive.

While working I keep in mind all of the many tools I have collected into my spiritual tool kit. I did so much, I learned so much, I taught so much, I did so much healing, I felt so satisfied, I pulled through my dark night, I was doing well. Then working .....well.....

Life has never been the same. That is not necessarily a bad thing.

 The game, has really changed. There are ten people waiting for my job should I decide to leave it and the work place has become very stressful. People are losing their careers all over the place and really very few are emotionally or financially equipped to make the leap of faith that comes with all the tremendous changes that are required to survive in this economy. At work it is do more, there is no money for  a raise, oh we have to cut the bonuses and you have to do more still. You don't like it .. well then lump it ... Morale is not where it should be. It is very hard to be a spiritual and very sensitive person and survive each moment. What is one to do ?

I think for me personally a Re-Boot is in order. There is no law that says once you learn something that changes your life,  that you cannot revisit it and refresh the things you may already know. To me reading and listening to things I once listened or read before is like going home, only this time I can return to a place where knowledge is power and compassion is Queen ( or King. )

I am free to  return to those wonderful feelings that I have had before that teach me, that an old dog Can indeed  learn new tricks. After all  I have retrained the way I  think and erased the old tapes that once played in my head.

I  did it once, I  can do it again. Along the way I will make new discoveries which are wonderful. When I was in management I learned the One Minute Manager and that sticks with me still .Way back when I began my journey of learning, my 'Professor' handed me a cassette which I  would then play all the time at home and in my car. It was my freshman course in how to stop thinking about the Negative and focusing on the Positive. I was re-training my thinking patterns and call it what you will .. I was healing myself !! I listened to Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy among others who taught me to be happy with what I had and that my business card WAS my Lottery ticket ! 

From there I moved onto Louise Hay who taught me all about Self- Empowerment. I found my personal freedom listening to Ms.Hay ! Then onto Wayne Dyer who taught me the Power of Positive Thinking  and Doreen Virtue who taught me who to call on when I had hit a bump. I learned about my chakras from Adonea Judith and then I moved along to some Why some People never heal by Caroline Myss. With some help and insight from a good friend I listened to  Judith Orloff to learn that I was an Empath and I was not crazy, some of us are more so than other. I discovered Karla MacLaren and learned how to set better Energetic boundaries.  I listened to Kryon and his channelings and then found the Indigo Children and read books about that and discovered that there are so many of us. I wrote an article and was published in his 'The Indigo Children- Ten Years Later ' I am learning about menopause, another marvelous time of self discovery by reading herbal information from Susun Weed who is a walking, talking repository of herbal knowledge, a very Wise Woman indeed !

Now this was all in the time when I stepped up from cassettes to DVD's I listend to more Caroline Myss and her Medical Intution series. I read many healing books about Reiki and LaHo Chi, I studied the Course in Miracles and found a wonderful book named Positive Energy, also by Judith Orloff.

The Internet really has blossomed and now there are downloads and podcasts and videos that I can fill up my mind and my spiritual tool kit with and most of the time its free ..I  Love free - especially these days ! I am not a television watcher to speak of, there are a few things that interest me.  I would much rather be feeding my mind and tending the garden of brain cells that my wonderful maker gave me .

Of course also What better time than now to revisit the old standbys that helped to reshape my mind and then to discover all the new people out there I have yet to meet.

I am older now of mind and body, neither of them respond the way I would like them too. I have to be more organized and stricter with a mindful routine than I ever had to be. As the saying goes, I am not getting older, I am getting better ! 

Yet, I am looking also to the newbies for help with taking all the ideals I have learned along my journey and then re-figuring them like silly putty. I need to put them to work better for me in the here and now. This is a whole new ball game we are involved in. There are not going to be the things we grew up with readily available and Jobs are dissapearing faster than we can blink our eyes.. Our country and our way of living are changed and we are not able to rely on any of the things we used to .. The Halcyon days seem like they are gone and we are left to figure this out..But a new dawn has begun, all I need to do is shape shift to fit this new world. There is opportunity everywhere if only I put my big toe in the water to test it all out .....

So here it is.. the Re-Boot.

Whenever possible it is time for me to revisit the things that always made me happy and to discover  the new things that are out there . I have to make the time to keep my heart light and free. In this tough work environment, cutbacks and a serious lack of money climate it, becomes easy to get down trodden and funky. Finding myself in that frame of mind really keeps me in a holding pattern. Once I am in the holding pattern that old darkness and feelings of lack rear their ugly head. Once the depression hits, I can be sure Ilness may be skulking around the corner. If I keep my mind physically fit all the rest will follow. 

One of the most obvious cures for what ails anyone is to spend time in nature and with animals and plant life.  I have said this in the past and will say it forever. God or whoever created this magnificant place in which we exist - no matter how we exist, in his or her genius and out of  love for us, surrounded us with pure beauty. The more we learn to notice the beauty, the more we begin to see it in Everything around us from the cuddling in our laps of a new puppy to admiring the colorful wings of a butterfly during summer. From sitting in healing golden sunshine safely, to growing and cooking our own food and using herbs to help digest well what we are eating. The more we embrace what God gave all of us, the better we feel. We heal from the energies of nature.

Now more than ever we  need to mingle with nature and allow her to teach us how to survive, Mother Earth knows how to do this, she has been doing it for eons. I allow myself to learn from nature.

,
From the shapes we see in the clouds over head.... to the four leaf clovers we find in the grass while we lay on our bellies as we did as children. If you didn't do it as a child there is no time like the present to get down on your belly and observe, allowing nature to heal what ails you ! You might want to give yourself plenty of time to get back up lol.
From the pure innocent laughter we may hear from the children we hold to close to our hearts, to the simple songs sung by Mother Nature's birds as they tend to their young and attract their new mate or build their nests, we are listening !

Yes.... Nature is a wonderful healing power and I spend as much time out in it as I can. I must have 100,000 pictures of butterflies and birds and hummingbirds and my dogs ,. no lie... LOL My hard drives are full of them !

The other thing I need to do is to feed my mind with books and to play those DVD's CD's and yes drag out the old boom box and listen to the tapes. The public libraries have more to offer now and of course I have internet access so I can read to my hearts content, There is so much information available online to learn from and of course discretion is very wise as there are those energies who love nothing  more than to think they have us under their thumb ! Let not that be the case. 

There are also hundreds of ways to waste tremendous amounts of time online also. so they need to be avoided. There are times when they come in handy to take my mind off of stressful things. In my opinion though and it's mine, there are things online that are invented to waste your time and mine and dumb you and I  down and dis-empower us- SO choose to spend time wisely. 

SO.... I am ready for the changes that come with the Re-Boot. I am currently reading a wonderful book with my teacher 'The Way of Mastery' the teachings of Jeshua ben Joseph. it is channeled teaching of the knowledge of Jesus. It is my belief that the information is not only feels wonderful to read.. but it also immensely healing and incredibly enough each lesson I have read somehow applied directly to the circumstances I am experiencing in my life at that time. I also get to do it with my Wonderful Mentor and Friend Lorraine Merritt :) It is also my belief that its popularity and the attention it now receives is No accident, we all need healing and wonderful advice now more than ever. We need to Re-Empower ourselves to face the challenges. We have two choices, we can lay down and give up, Or, we can grab new tools for our tool kit and get ready to face the next challenge at hand !

I am fully aware of the road that lies ahead for me and I can make the desicion to piss and moan and flop down and complain ....OR I can choose to include in each one of my days those things that feed my mind and my heart and soul. I can allow my spirit to soar or I can just sit and watch everyone around me figure all of this out and move forward OR re-invent myself and my life. No one needs to drag me across the finish line kicking and screaming. 

I am choosing the peaceful Re-Invention,  the Re-Boot.  I am surrounding myself with the love of Spirit and the knowledge and healing that supports a healthy mind !!

May Peace and Love Surround You All of Your Days ... 

Carolyn :)